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'I Don't Want Go...'
This page is provided only for information, it does not apply to the 2002 festival.
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So here I am on the last day of the festival. Boo Hoo. I'm always like this when it's nearly time to go home. As a child I would sob uncontrollably the day before the end of a holiday, pleading "Oh can't we stay another weeeeeekwahahahaaaaaah..." but I grew out of all that after last year. Now I'm a completely grown up kind of buffoon, the kind that books a fortnight off work after the festival to ease myself back into the real world. And do I need it. King of the dribble-makers, that is I.
My day begins with a cloudy head, perhaps I went a bit silly last night. I know I went out there to 'Do Glastonbury' last night but I think the fact that I'd been here since Wednesday being a good boy made me want to cram 5 days into one night. I do get these flashes of genius once in a while... So now I feel rough. Some more Shiatsu massage, perhaps? Actually I think I'd be a lot better off with a can of Stella for breakfast. Flashes of genius, see? I've not lost the touch.
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Unfortunately my left knee is still causing me grief and I'm hobbling around mumbling 'Spare a talent for an old ex-leper', drawing strange looks from curious onlookers. Oh Come on you miserable gits, this is Glastonbury. Try and be a bit more out there, will ya? Perhaps they're all moping because like me they have to go home. I know what I can do to cheer myself up; I'll visit the slurry pit. Yippee!
The slurry pit stinks like shit. Which is funny because it's full of shit, too. And shoes. And Beercans. And glasses. Want me to go on? I often wondered what happens to all that waste and now I shall know. All those gulper tank thingies being towed round by Massey Ferguson tractors sucking out the contents of the site portaloos end their journeys at this pit by the cowshed and farmhouse to blow it all out into a large pit. All the solid waste (urp!) is sorted into a separate holding area to be treated and will end up as landfill. The larger area of the pit; the liquid waste, will be neutralized by enzymes and once safe will be spread over the groung as fertalizer. Ugh! Well I suppose we townies DON'T underzzdan th wayzzz o the coont-reee. Arrrrr. This information comes courtesy of a very kind white-haired chap who since the start of the festival has been in waders standing knee deep in it all swooshing it about with a broom. The guy is so nice I can't believe it, I almost want to shake his hand and give him a hug but think twice about it. I'm ashamed to say I didn't catch his name, he disappeared to 'have a spot of lunch' (spew!).
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