'I Always Cry at Weddings'

Two of my friends, Justin and Carolyn, are getting married tomorrow afternoon. You'd have to know them to appreciate the gravity of the situation, as Justin is the most anti-marriage kind of person you could hope to meet. But there you are, strange things happen at Glastonbury. It's happening at Cupid Stunt's in the Greenpeace Field and now I'm going to have to get myself a new hat. In true roving style, I'm out of the office and rested up outside the Bread & Roses beer tent on Butts Green with the gang. Jimmy from Minuteman, who have just been playing in the New Bands tent, has just joined us for a beer, I didn't see them but word on the street is that they went down very well. They've got a new single out next week too called 'Big Boy' so get yourself down to Woolies... I've just come from the Theatre Field where I took a couple of friends back to watch today's performance by the outstanding Jonathan Kay. Sorry to keep banging on about it but the guy really is a genius. Today he has the guys and the girls (about 200 of us) sat opposite and singing Bohemian Rhapsody to each other with great gusto before creeping up on an unsuspecting couple on the far side of the field, encircling them and humming Ravel's Bolero while they re-enacted the beach scene from Blake Edwards' 10. You couldn't make it up, mass hysteria all the way down the line. The temperature has dropped quite dramatically, the wind is up and the clouds are over, for a moment we even get a few raindrops. Matters become so severe that I invest in a blanket from Joe Bananas, wrap myself up and wander through the markets with the two girls I'm with, all three of us looking like giant snow-cones. There you are, see, Glastonbury isn't Glastonbury without a bit of wetness, my festival is complete at last. Right, now piss off rain and let's have a bit of sun back, shall we? Eeeh, it's like rain on your wedding day, as Alanis Wotsername sung. Except it's the day before a wedding day. Which reminds me; I've got a stag do to attend. Oh my ghood….. Words and picture: Stalker