Friday 28th June

I can't stop smiling, me. In 2000 I was the moodiest bloke on site, probably. This year I must look like I've just found a whole box of coat hangers. Feeling a little bit more steady now after a healthy fried breakfast and a strawberry smoothie. 'Got to normalise,' a friend tells me, 'however caned you get the night before, you've got to normalise.' He's right, after all - if you don't eat you don't shit. If you don't shit you die. So now I feel better. And now I'm on the Stella. (Jesus, I don't believe it - Ed). So anyway, I've just been to the Theatre Field - not really an area I frequent but you know - in for a penny and all that... Well, I have just laughed more in the space of an hour than I ever did in five years working for a political PR firm, and that was side-splitting. The focus of my mirth was a bizarre fellow called Jonathan Kay who had us sat outside the Theatre Tent in two huge crescents - boys on one side, girls on the other - where we proceeded to re-enact the stage production of Grease, enlisting the help of hapless by-passers to be pawns in our game, brutally criticising them should they try to escape, hysterically praising them for their willingness to make total twats of themselves in front of a volatile audience. Hats off to the old boy with the beard who did a little jig in the middle of the circle while we clapped him on, faster and faster, we stopped when he started to turn purple. There's more but I'd be going on to 5000 words if I told you more. The laugh of it is that I hear he does team-building motivational workshops for a living, which makes the whole shebang all the more hilarious. Then, when he'd finished, he had us all crawl back into the tent on our bellies. What a hero. I love this man, he's back on tomorrow and I'm going back to watch him. Fay, one of our huuugely talented photographers is also plotted up in the Theatre Field next to the charming Ben's Big Mouth café with a studio set-up, collaring interesting looking folk for portraits. She's got some cracking shots, although some of the guys got a bit shy the closer they got to the studio. Wusses... Check the galleries for these, maybe you're there. If you are then bear in mind that they're there for good. Regardless of how much you plead we're not taking them down. Just wait until your boss sees you with a David Beckham style haircut and pierced nipples, you beast, you. Words: Stalker